Lightning Round: Closing 2018

Ending the year on the final givings of the holiday season.

"Mary Poppins Returns" review

The medicine's going down but the sugar's not hiding all of the bitterness.

"Aquaman" review

No "Star Wars" this December? DC has the crowdpleaser fantasy epic covered.

"Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse" review

After an embarrassing decade, Sony finally gets something to stick.

"Mortal Engines" review

For once it would be nice if these things were more "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" than "Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets."

A Spoonful of Sugar in a Mountain of Medicine: In Defense of Disney Remakes

Just because it's a small world, doesn't mean it has to be a repetitive one.

"Bumblebee" review

"Transformers" finally achieves cinematic dignity after a decade and the removal of the self indulgent cynic handling the property.

Younger and Wiser: "Shadowhunters" and the Integrity of Television

"The Mortal Instruments" steps up to bat once more. The results are surprising to say the least.

A Mid Winter Night's Crit Hit Update

I'm not particularly fond of doing so many of these so close to one another but you may have noticed that my initial release window for "Younger and Wiser" has come and gone with no content to show.

It will definitely be coming this Friday. Although I'm not particularly fond of delays, I've had to make several personal accommodations over the last few weeks that have thrown many projections I've put together into mayhem.

While I wanted to initially close the series out before 2019, It would be best for me and the quality of the work therein to give it the diligence that it is due. Therefore expect "Younger and Wiser" to pick back up after this Friday with a February 2019 release for the next installment.

In the meantime, get ready for a week straight of surprise releases including early reviews, Disney dealings, and much more next week on Crit. Hit.

Cinematic Monstrosities: Stop Letting the Snake Eat Its Own Tail (Finale)

It's time to stop making commercials for commercials.

"Pokémon: The Power of Us" review

A Reminder of why an entire generation once wanted to live in a Pokémon world.

Lightning Round: Holiday Displacement

One release too soon, another too late, the other just right for family gathering holidays.

"Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald" review

Never before have I been more starkly aware of the difference between enchanting and diverting.

Excelsior indeed, Mr. Lee, Excelsior Indeed: A Tribute to Stan "The Man"

Stan “The Man” Lieber was a great man and his presence, from the boisterous levels of energy he never failed to exude to the heartwarming and inspirational words he had to pick us up in a manner befitting a man who spent most of his life creating heroes for a living, will be sorely missed now more than ever in these tumultuous times that we live in.

Although it’s undeniably sad that he’s no longer with us, let’s not forget all of the good he’s brought into our lives and the reality that he left this world with status as a long lived legend that most of us could only dream of even mildly achieving.

Living out some rough and uncertain days of my life in current times and occasionally losing sight on what’s worth waking up the next day for, it’s astonishing to see a man like Stan Lee win as hard at the brutal game of life as he has, watching his creations entertain and inspire nearly 4 generations and becoming multi-billion dollar institutions of the modern cannon of global pop-culture.

I’ve never been shy to raise the issue of my love for the superhero genre; a genre that I believe to be so intricately tied to themes of human identity and perception that it can be tailored to tell just about every type of story that can be conceived.

While the seeds of that notion were undoubtedly planted within my toddler psyche by a fascination with the cool and flashy iconography of “Power Rangers” and “Batman” in the 90s, it was ultimately fostered by Lee’s legacy.

I remember watching episodes of “Spider-Man: The Animated Series” religiously on weekday afternoons and Saturday mornings, enraptured by the trials of Peter Parker and his continuity driven serialized adventures, which stacked together to weave a grand narrative of a man whose life was ever changing in relation to his double life as a hero.

The notion of having powers was awesome but one of the reasons why Peter Parker is my favorite character in all of fiction is because he’s perhaps the starkest reminder that no one gift can solve all of your problems and your worth in life is determined by how you roll with the punches, something you really learn to appreciate growing up facing a fair share of bullying because of who people think you are and should be.

That helped me learn a sense of optimism, bolstered by growing up reading my uncle’s old Silver Age “Fantastic Four” comics, where a family as dysfunctional as any other familial unit can still come together to love each other and explore cosmic wonders while protecting the innocent when it matters. To me, it was “Star Trek” before I even discovered “Star Trek.”

And I of course can’t ignore that watching “Spider-Man” on the big screen back in 2002 was the beginning of a love affair that I would carry for cinema and all of its possibilities that hasn’t disappeared to this very day and set me on the path I walked to become a film critic.

One of my biggest regrets in life will be that I never got to meet him, if only for just 3 minutes in person, to tell him just how much of my life he played an unintentional architect for. As sad as it is to know that his final few years may have been wrapped up in illness complications and legal drama however, I only hope that he knew peace in knowing how much pride he can take in a legacy of art that will most likely endure long after even I pass away one day.

Stan Lee didn’t just make heroes. As far as I’m concerned, he was a damn great one himself.

So long as his legacy thrives through his creations, his spirit will be as everlasting as the One Above All. 'Nuff Said.

"Liz and the Blue Bird" review

Just the pallet cleanser I needed before going in to "Harry Potter: Episode 2: Attack of the Johnny Depp Performance"

"The Girl in the Spider's Web" review

Less Nordic Noir and more Nordic TNT wannabe superhero Saturday afternoon action trash.

Holiday Season Rush: A Crit. Hit Update

As the Holiday season winds closer, bringing with it a slue of critical darlings and seasonal blockbuster shooting for the Oscars and vacation crowds, things are bound to shake up, and due to recent personal affairs that have already disrupted my intended schedule, I thought now would be a good moment to provide a bit of a progress report of what to expect from Crit. Hit before the dawn of 2019.


Universal Monstrosities = Despite a minor set back causing me to miss my intended deadline last week, the final entry of the series is coming along smoothly. Anticipate the close of our dive into this Hollywood trend next week.

Younger and Wiser =  The Feature on "Shadow Hunters" is currently on track for November 28, with the remainder of the series intended to roll out on a weekly basis until completion by early January.

As always, weekly reviews will continue to see publication on a weekly basis. I thank you for your understanding and hope for your continued readership.

"Bohemian Rhapsody" review

It will not rock you and you may wish it was fantasy.

Universal Monstrosities: Arthurian Apochrypha

Tom Cruise running from the supernatural wasn’t the only universal catastrophe of cinema last year.

Lightning Round: This is Halloween

The only thing scary than these movies is their level of quality.

Universal Monstrosities: Bayformers

So much less than meets the eye.

"First Man" review

Am I the only one getting a minor chuckle out of watching a Canadian man play and American hero?

"The Hate U Give" review

The best non-feel good movie of the year.

"Bad Times at the El Royale" review

They don't quite make them like this anymore.

"Venom" review

Venom sucks.

"A Star is Born" review

The title is like a literalization of Cooper and Gaga's directorial and acting careers, respectively.

"Night School" review

I always hate when I have to remind myself certain stars are good as I'm watching them bomb onscreen.

The Road to Clean Slate: A Crit.Hit Update

Toward the start of the summer, I posted an updated f what I hoped would be my new schedule for regular content release. Obviously, that did not come to pass for a number of reasons.

Fortunately a number of unexpected changes that have come to my personal life and the removal of certain toxic elements from it have afforded me the opportunity to put things back on a solid track for the new year to come. With that said, here's what you can expect from Crit Hit for the remainder of the year.


October

Similar to the completion of "Happily Never After," a Wednesday/Friday release schedule will be implemented to allow me to complete "Universal Monstrosities" by early November. In the meantime, reviews will continue to roll out at a regular pace along with a few surprises here and there.

November

While "Younger and Wiser" will follow a similar release model, this one's release will be staggered through out November and December to both compensate for a season that is considerably busier  and accommodate for a substantially higher number of high profile releases for review.

It will also benefit the subject matters themselves as I enter a territory of watching full television productions  by the season as opposed to just films.

"White Boy Rick" review

In case you didn't already think the justice system was problematic today, just remember 2 decades ago, the gave a teenager a life sentence after encouraging him to do the crime.

Happily Never After: Parting Words

Image Source: 50 Shades of Animation

Revisiting the best and worst one more time, along with looking at some continuations I wouldn't mind.

Happily Never After: The Beginning of the End (Part 2)

Image Source: jctunesmusic.wordpress.com

As the smoke clears and the sun sets on this look back through a more shameless age of Disney, the inevitable question of what the point of all of this was has reared its head.

"The Predator" review

“Predator” is an odd relic of pop culture when you really try to break down the its significance and trajectory as a franchise.

Happily Never After: The Beginning of the End (Part 1)

When I started this project 2 years ago, I knew I was in for a conga line of pain, shame , and heartache.

"The Nun" review

No Jump Scares will be made in this review. Unlike the marketing team for "The Nun," I'm not an asshole.

Happily Never After: The (Unexpected) Uphill Swing

Why did they suddenly decide to get good?

"Searching" review

John Cho's no nonsense hunt for his missing daughter is actually way more interesting than Liam Neeson's.

Happily Never After: Escaping the Small World (Part 2)

I’d call the bizarre whiplash of badness to the other end of the spectrum something of a monkey’s paw with regards to the desire to escape the lacking passion in the previous batch of 3 but frankly, I take comfort in these two movie at least having something worth discussing.

Happily Never After: Escaping the Small World (Part 1)

Escape from the most magical hell on Earth begins now.

"Kin" review

Well, they definitely don't make 'em like this very often.

"The Little Mermaid (2018)" review

Y'know guys, beating Disney to the punch of their own inevitable remake isn't an accomplishment to brag about in and of itself.

"The Meg" review

As if it weren’t obvious enough that the Summer is winding down, the cockney accented king of action trash graces theaters with his presence to milk the dying seasonal atmosphere by taking his street fighting smarts to the ocean to fight a prehistoric shark monster.

"Crazy Rich Asians" review

After sitting through "The Meg," it's nice to see a film with Asian appeal that doesn't pause everything to advertise to global Chinese audience bubble.

"BlacKkKlansman" review

“BlacKkKlansman” is, for better or worse, the most quintessential Spike Lee film of the millennium thus far.

Lightning Round: Summer Fun is Done

Can you guess which of these is the August release stereotype?

"Mission Impossible: Fallout" review

I accept this mission with no regrets.

When Bad Movies Hurt You: A Crit .Hit Update

Because sometimes you give corporations a little too much credit.

"The Equalizer 2" review

Well, it was better than "Skyscraper."

"Sorry to Bother You" review

I don't know if Summer was the best time to release this but thank god it exists period.

"Ant-Man and the Wasp" review

A superhero movie that actually reminds you that this genre is fun and enjoyable for kids? Sign me up hard!

Lightning Round: Happy Birthday America

Childhood disappointment, snuffing out innocence, and xenophobia. Happy 4th of July y'all.

"Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" review

Hey, Jurassic Park! MAKE UP YOUR GOD DAMN MIND!!!

"Won't You Be My Neighbor?" review

Spoiler alert. You will feel feelings.

"The Incredibles 2" review

Worthwhile perhaps, but not quite incredible.