"The Meg" review

As if it weren’t obvious enough that the Summer is winding down, the cockney accented king of action trash graces theaters with his presence to milk the dying seasonal atmosphere by taking his street fighting smarts to the ocean to fight a prehistoric shark monster.

To say that “The Meg” is loosely based on the Steven Alten novel of the same name would almost be like saying “Jurassic Park” is adapted from the Michael Crichton novel of the same name without giving due mention to the pulpier, more sincerely B-movie-esque aspects of the source material’s storytelling lost in adaptation that set it fundamentally apart from the product that Hollywood has spawned from it.

Where “Jurassic Park” opted for a blend of contemporary tones to appeal to a broader movie going demographic however, “The Meg” kind of goes in the opposite direction, keeping the general premise of deep sea researchers discovering a prehistoric apex predator in the water, while replacing the atmosphere and sense of melancholy over scientists reluctantly attempting to kill what may be the last living member of a species thought to be extinct due to the immediate threat it poses to humanity, with the exact kind of movie you’d think that you would get with the pitched premise of Jason Statham vs. a shark monster.

The movie has been sniped at quite a bit for seeming to be a standard issue knockoff of “Jaws,” but in reality, this film probably has more in common with “Deep Blue Sea” and by no means is that necessarily a bad thing.

“The Meg” is most certainly dumb but barring its almost shameless plug for Chinese tourism as a bit of metatextual market pandering, it generally seems to be wholly aware that its number one mission is to pass 2 hours while averting boredom along the way and for the most part it succeeds.

Although the characters are about as shallow as it gets, almost everybody in the cast of character actors seems to know just what type of movie they’re in and opt to have fun with what screen time they’re given before the credits roll or they become fish food, with a sense of humor and genuine camaraderie carrying preventing their scenes from bogging down the true stars of the show, Statham and the titular Megaladon.

Even Statham himself is noticeably loosened up compared to his usual brooding badass roles. He still definitely doing his ‘Guy Ritchie’ English street fighter shtick but his charm actually shines through and some of his comedic chops even get called up to the plate by reminding him that his six pack and martial arts prowess kind of don’t mean much when you’re in the water swimming tens of feet away from a shark the size of a yacht.

The man vs. monster element is the central thrust of the movie and when its focused on that very element, pitting its heroes in open ocean on a boat and using their wits to lure in and fight the shark like a videogame boss battle, it works on the back of solid pacing and a real sense of tension even in the most humorous of scenes.

Lest this review begin sounding a tad bit too positive, let me strongly reiterate that “The Meg” is exactly what it advertises.

It is a B-movie through and through; a film that is about the thrill of a dangerous predator let loose upon a human populace and the exploitation of said people as fodder. It is stupid, derivative, and far from the best version of what it sets out to be.

It also has a sequence of Statham launching himself at the creature with a harpoon saying “chew on this.”

You know if “The Meg” sounds like something you’d be interested in and if you are, it provides plenty of fun to be had.

5 Bigger Fish out of 10