I am so sick of false advertising.
A modern day veteran of war struggles to come to
terms with his vaguely alluded to and poorly detailed traumas in a country side
home that sits on the barrier between our world and a Dungeons & Dragons-esque
fantasy land locked in a war between armies of evil orcs and elves.
Which side of that barrier do you want to follow?
Fantasy land? Well too bad because the nonexistent budget dictates we need to
follow the conveniently coming and going confidence problems of John Norton, a
post traumatic dork that is so bland that I can’t fathom why the filmmakers
decided to focus the story on him as opposed to the far more interesting and memetically
badass former land owner Richard Conrad, who looks like he stepped off of the
set of “Hell on Wheels.”
Some would say that I’m being a bit too hard on a
film that didn’t have enough resources to do something typically requiring high
budgets but I would retort that if you can’t make a fantasy film, don’t plaster
a fire breathing dragon on your poster with the title “Dragonfyre,” or give it
the alternative name, “Orc Wars.”
The experience of watching “Dragonfyre” is akin to
that of being a 7 year old child in a moving car that passes by Six Flags only
to find out that your destination is actually a cheap carnival in the back lot
of a grocery store; sure, there’s some level of basic entertainment to be had
but all of your focus is on the real prize that is right next to what you’re
forced to accept.
With that in mind, nothing that the movie does
during its constant sequences of orc invasion of an empty country side is
particularly compelling.
This is a film in which an army of orcs are gunned
down in an armored vehicle by a blind Native American and a redneck named
Scooter, with RPGs and I was still bored to tears. This kind of insanity would
have been a nice complement to a more energetic film but the dour tone
established for the sake of exploring John Norton’s uninteresting issues and
lack of character kill the fun at every corner making for a backbone that is more
dull than stupid fun.
I give “Dragonfyre” credit in certain regards. When
the titular dragon actually shows up, it does give the film the shot of
adrenaline that it was in desperate need of and if nothing else, the actors and
film crew did seem to genuinely care about the production. They didn’t take the
easy way out and tried to have as much fun with the material as possible, which
makes it more endearing than other films that have come up.
Where I’d like to meet it half way however, I still
have to dock it major points for tossing away its cooler concepts.
1½ Shatners
Bottom Line: While “Dragonfyre” is boring at the end
of the day, it deserves an A for sincerity at the very least.
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