A rapture that's hip for the kiddies..
Despite not having seen the original cinematic entry of Tim
LaHaye’s epic length multi-meida franchise about redemption amidst the trials
and tribulations of the biblical rapture, I’m no stranger to the franchise.
Some of my more veteran readers may remember my tackling of
the Nicholas Cage helmed reboot when discussing the worst films of 2014. That’s to say nothing of how many copies of the 16 entry book
series I have had to handle at my day job.
Given my history with the current trend of bad Christian
films designed to capitalize on the lowest common denominator of a movement, I
don’t quite know what I was expecting out of a Young Adult focused spinoff
series produced by Rick Santorum (because if there’s anybody who’s popular with
the YA demographic…), but to say the ensuing train wreck was a pleasant
surprise of glorious proportions would be an understatement.
“Vanished- Left Behind: The Next Generation,” follows 15
year old Love Triangle Point Number 1 Gabby, who fights for survival
with her younger sister and fellow Love Triangle points, popular boy and
childhood best friend Josh and moody loner with a troubled past Flynn, after a
large portion of the population suddenly vanishes without a trace.
Depicting the rapture in films usually opens the door for
awkward questions of faith that the movie’s in question rarely if ever have the
backbone to actually address.
“Vanished” is no exception to that rule, foregoing even the
basic tenants of fictionalized rapture stories by having an actual preteen aged
child remain left behind with no actual exploration of exactly who has been
saved beyond a vague explanation of “chosen” ones that seems to undermine not
only biblical commentary but whatever themes this movie may or may not have had
in mind.
I say may or may not have had in mind because this is
ultimately a film of such confusing make that it practically falls apart in
motion.
“Vanished” is one of the most laughably edited productions
that I have come across in quite some time. Fade outs to cheap green screens
and enclosed spaces are abundant but even basic continuity breaks in ways that
are flat out hilarious. The rapture itself lands within the first 10 minutes
after a scene of Gabby awkwardly telling her mother she doesn’t want to discuss
her love life. The subsequent cut to a car crash shows her mother and everybody
around her not only disappeared from frame but of a street thrown into chaos comparable
to nuclear holocaust within a matter of seconds as quickly as the movie can go
from having decent production to looking shot on an I-phone.
This sort of poorly directed cutting and inconsistent production,
coupled with dialogue that I would be complimenting to call hackneyed and
actress Amber Brown’s unintentionally hilarious performance which only succeeds
in overperforming and underdelivering critically at every important juncture,
basically cripple the movie from quality right out of the gate, assuming the
horrifically out of place and grating Christian rock soundtrack wasn’t damaging
enough already.
Unintentional hilarity of craftsmanship and performances
aside, including a Tom Everett Scott take on a villain that is somehow
transparently crazy yet somehow less scary in being so, what really blows me
away with “Vanished” is the sincerity behind executing such an unclear
miscalculation.
The movie doesn’t know whether or not it wants to be more of
a YA film or a biblical story. Those 2 don’t have to be fundamentally at odds
with one another but it’s funny to watch just how little those involved with
this film seem to grasp either concept on a cinematic scale, much less how to
intertwine them.
As a result, you get gems like Flynn and Josh romantic
competitively charged distrust for one another manifesting in Josh questioning
Gabby as to why she should “trust him,” when all he did was say we have to go
in response to the reality that people are chasing them outside of an exploded
building.
Scenes like this displaying a tokenism to the YA demographic
stereotype along with the aforementioned copout of explaining the nature of the
rapture show a lack of care or understanding regarding either key piece of the
equation but the attempt to sell that these characters may or may not have been
together for the span of days if not weeks while hiking across towns, when the
continuous walking of the characters along with absolutely no change in
wardrobe makes it feel like they’ve only been out and about for 2 days at most,
are what really garnishes the meal as a bad movie delight.
If “Vanished’s” goal was to recruit a new generation to its
beliefs, I have no reason to believe it isn’t an absolute failure but for those
same faces, I can recommend a fun Friday night drinking party with their
friends over it.
3 Out of 4 Shatners
Bottom Line: Adorably contradictory and hilariously inconsistent at every turn, "Vanished" is the type of so bad it's good experience that enticed me into "Fromage Fridays" to begin with.
No comments:
Post a Comment