Friday, December 8, 2017

Fromage Fridays #44: Vanished- Left Behind: The Next Generation


A rapture that's hip for the kiddies..



Despite not having seen the original cinematic entry of Tim LaHaye’s epic length multi-meida franchise about redemption amidst the trials and tribulations of the biblical rapture, I’m no stranger to the franchise.

Some of my more veteran readers may remember my tackling of the Nicholas Cage helmed reboot when discussing the worst films of 2014. That’s to say nothing of how many copies of the 16 entry book series I have had to handle at my day job.

Given my history with the current trend of bad Christian films designed to capitalize on the lowest common denominator of a movement, I don’t quite know what I was expecting out of a Young Adult focused spinoff series produced by Rick Santorum (because if there’s anybody who’s popular with the YA demographic…), but to say the ensuing train wreck was a pleasant surprise of glorious proportions would be an understatement.

“Vanished- Left Behind: The Next Generation,” follows 15 year old Love Triangle Point Number 1 Gabby, who fights for survival with her younger sister and fellow Love Triangle points, popular boy and childhood best friend Josh and moody loner with a troubled past Flynn, after a large portion of the population suddenly vanishes without a trace.

Depicting the rapture in films usually opens the door for awkward questions of faith that the movie’s in question rarely if ever have the backbone to actually address.

“Vanished” is no exception to that rule, foregoing even the basic tenants of fictionalized rapture stories by having an actual preteen aged child remain left behind with no actual exploration of exactly who has been saved beyond a vague explanation of “chosen” ones that seems to undermine not only biblical commentary but whatever themes this movie may or may not have had in mind.

I say may or may not have had in mind because this is ultimately a film of such confusing make that it practically falls apart in motion.

“Vanished” is one of the most laughably edited productions that I have come across in quite some time. Fade outs to cheap green screens and enclosed spaces are abundant but even basic continuity breaks in ways that are flat out hilarious. The rapture itself lands within the first 10 minutes after a scene of Gabby awkwardly telling her mother she doesn’t want to discuss her love life. The subsequent cut to a car crash shows her mother and everybody around her not only disappeared from frame but of a street thrown into chaos comparable to nuclear holocaust within a matter of seconds as quickly as the movie can go from having decent production to looking shot on an I-phone.

This sort of poorly directed cutting and inconsistent production, coupled with dialogue that I would be complimenting to call hackneyed and actress Amber Brown’s unintentionally hilarious performance which only succeeds in overperforming and underdelivering critically at every important juncture, basically cripple the movie from quality right out of the gate, assuming the horrifically out of place and grating Christian rock soundtrack wasn’t damaging enough already.

Unintentional hilarity of craftsmanship and performances aside, including a Tom Everett Scott take on a villain that is somehow transparently crazy yet somehow less scary in being so, what really blows me away with “Vanished” is the sincerity behind executing such an unclear miscalculation.

The movie doesn’t know whether or not it wants to be more of a YA film or a biblical story. Those 2 don’t have to be fundamentally at odds with one another but it’s funny to watch just how little those involved with this film seem to grasp either concept on a cinematic scale, much less how to intertwine them.

As a result, you get gems like Flynn and Josh romantic competitively charged distrust for one another manifesting in Josh questioning Gabby as to why she should “trust him,” when all he did was say we have to go in response to the reality that people are chasing them outside of an exploded building.

Scenes like this displaying a tokenism to the YA demographic stereotype along with the aforementioned copout of explaining the nature of the rapture show a lack of care or understanding regarding either key piece of the equation but the attempt to sell that these characters may or may not have been together for the span of days if not weeks while hiking across towns, when the continuous walking of the characters along with absolutely no change in wardrobe makes it feel like they’ve only been out and about for 2 days at most, are what really garnishes the meal as a bad movie delight.


If “Vanished’s” goal was to recruit a new generation to its beliefs, I have no reason to believe it isn’t an absolute failure but for those same faces, I can recommend a fun Friday night drinking party with their friends over it.


3 Out of 4 Shatners



Bottom Line: Adorably contradictory and hilariously inconsistent at every turn, "Vanished" is the type of so bad it's good experience that enticed me into "Fromage Fridays" to begin with.

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