Congratulations “Paranormal Activity.” You’re no
longer the paragon of found footage suckage.
Found footage movies have been getting a pretty bad
rep in the last few years. For every “Coverfield” and “Chronicle,” there are 5 “Apollo
18s” and “The Devil Withins.”
I don’t know whether to be insulted or impressed that
“The Remaining,” somehow manages to be even lamer than either of those examples
of found footage done wrong but it is nevertheless the reality that I am faced
with.
Following a young couple and their friends on the
day of their wedding, on the day of the Rapture, “The Remaining…” well, that’s
really about it. In the tradition of crappy found footage films, “The Remaining”
is pretty much plotless. Things certainly happen in it, although outside of running
for cover to survive and figure things out, none of it is really connected
particularly well.
From a production standpoint, they certainly didn’t
hold back. The disaster effects and demonic visuals are better than a film of
this ilk typically deserves but when making a found footage film, there is one element
that you should typically maintain throughout the film. That element would be
the found footage.
While “The Remaining” would be a bad enough movie on
its own its desire to use found footage benefits with a laziness preventing it
from conforming to the discipline necessary to pull such a film off within the
entire format creates an irritating tonal whiplash that should tip you off to
what you’re in for out of the starting gate. Why do I harp on this so much?
Because that laziness is one of the only major factors holding me back from
declaring the film an ironic masterpiece.
This film is basically what “Left Behind” would have
been if it were laughably bad and not outright boring. The heavy-handed discussions
of faith delivered by actors that come across as acting school drop outs are
almost hypnotic to watch. If you’re going to feature crying across most of your
film, it would probably be a good idea to make sure that your cast actually
knows how to cry on demand.
Every aspect of “The Remaining” is so inept from a
standpoint of storytelling that its obnoxiously “in your face” religious agenda
circumvented my guttural reaction to be offended by attempted indoctrination
and just made me laugh.
At the point where it’s revealed that invisible demons
hunting the remainder of the human race are drawn in by prayer, leading to the sudden
and gory interruption of a baptism, I was on the floor.
2 Shatners out of 4
Bottom Line: How the hell do you make a horror film in which death is the preferable option to living? Doesn’t that fundamentally undercut the stakes?
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