A cinematic team up that nobody asked for but needed to happen anyway... Yet still doesn't quite happen.
One would think that a meeting as momentous as this
would create some sort of singularity of performances. A film starring an actor
now famous for overacting even in his phoned in performances and an actor most
well known for turning one of cinema’s most iconic original villains, Darth Vader,
into a whiny teenage emo almost seems like it would be tonally at war with
itself.
How does their chemistry hold? Wonderfully to the
point of parody… when they share the screen together.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. “Outcast” stars
Hayden Christensen as “Jacob,” a European warrior in Asia that fought in the
crusades who finds himself wandering the continent when he stumbles upon a
young prince and princess in need of his protection from a general aiming to
usurp their power and take the throne for himself.
Nic Cage plays his cynical mentor during the time of
the Crusades whom he must mend fences with in the last 15 minutes of the film.
What does their time in the Crusades have to do with their current Asian
adventures? Nothing at all.
Therein lies the “Outcast’s” biggest problem. It
builds up Jacob’s Crusade life and activities to no effect whatsoever. I could
give the story’s half-assed effort to make him look like a washed up warrior
feeling guilt and regret over the things that he’s seen but none of that is
ever actually dealt with, lingered on, connected very well to the film’s
present. Instead, “Outcast” is all about the action; its mediocre, poorly
edited, shakily shot action, which is so technically amateurish that the impact
is knocked out of it before the blows even connect with one another.
Be it fisticuffs, archery, or good old fashioned
swashbuckling, everything this movie seems to pride itself on in terms of
conflict is terribly bland, which only draws attention to how little life the
story has and how painfully obvious Christensen doesn't want to be onscreen.
Truth be told, I had more fun making up a story in
my head to contextualize this film than actually watching the film itself.
Imagining the opium and alcohol induced Jacob’s redemption quest as a giant
allegory for a washed up and cynical Christensen’s post-“Revenge of the Sith”
career got so disturbingly hilarious that it almost inspired me to write it up
as a pitch for a spiritual successor to “Birdman” starring him. It’s made even
worse when, not only does every line read he makes play directly into the notion
that he just wants each take to end so he can go get drunk and/or high, but a
drunken Nic Cage joins him onscreen in the final act of the film giving a
performance that I can only describe as being akin to a subdued drunken European
pirate lacking an eye patch.
His inexplicable decision to squint through his entire
appearance in the last chunk of the film looks less like an affliction or
character tic and more like Cage himself couldn't rub a certain speck out of
his eye before the camera started rolling.
I could go on for days about this film’s subtext of has-been
actors angry at the world and done with their craft and am almost tempted to
because it’s a spin that elevates “Outcast” into a territory that is more entertaining
than it manages alone.
1½ Shatners
Bottom Line: While
I’m sorely tempted to bump the film up to 2 Shatners, I have to sadly keep in mind
that most of what made it an enjoyable watch for me was merely my own
conjecture. Though I must ask, isn't that the hallmark of a fun bad movie?
No comments:
Post a Comment